


the philosophy of stars

by poeticaid



Series: SaiMota Week 2018 [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bullying, Light Masochism, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Canon, Pre-Game Momota Kaito, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 06:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16827508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poeticaid/pseuds/poeticaid
Summary: Before he could go in, he replied, in a low voice,"I wanted to taste the bitch."They're worlds apart.Saimota Week Day 1: PreGame or Stargazing (BOTH)





	the philosophy of stars

**Author's Note:**

> You think I'm going to miss Saimota week because it's school week?  
> HA. I've got enerything planned and read.

Shuichi likes to run. It was one of his hobbies. His hatred. Shuichi runs fast, but in the end, Kaito catches him on time, and would coop him up in whatever locker or chest was near them. And Kaito lets Shuichi suffocate, until someone, anyone, finally hears his pleading and opens wherever he was cooped at.

But he actually liked being suffocated. It was a beautiful thing to ever feel, or, maybe, the worst thing. This time, he was choked by that indestructible man named Kaito Momota when he accidentally bumped into him.

Shuichi forgets the ludicrous sense of bullying due to his euphoria or nostalgia or something else. After being let go by Kaito, he was dazed. He had just been held on chokehold, and he was just letting him go?

He feels disappointment rise in hid chest as Kaito walks away to be with his circle of friends. He was always with them. Shuichi wanted Kaito to hang out with him, but he goes the other way, to his friends.

Lunch was very common as usual. Everyone was talking about the new chapter and who people think would die or become the new blackened. Shuichi was ignoring anything around him, wanting the conversation his friends were having to turn to a bloodshed. He looks at the table Kaito was sitting.

Shuichi was not allowed to look at the man with no reason, so Akamatsu approaches their table and slams on it, making the entire cafeteria look at them in alarm.

Shuichi doesn't like Akamatsu the way he likes Kaito. Kaito was more carefree, callous, and was insensitive to everything. He was the person Shuichi wanted to be as a child, but failed to be.

Akamatsu gives him a slap which made him revel at the feeling of it, and goes back to watching the newest chapter on his phone.

Shuichi stays up all night to complete his project in Science. He shouldn't have watched the recent chapter of Danganronpa for the day. Great, he was getting less sleep than ever. His father didn't want him to turn to his mother. An overworking insomniac young woman, whom his fsther left due to not wanting to deal with another burden on his hands.

Shuichi was one of his burdens.

Shuichi had wondered why his father had never let go of him, even after the many things that had happened in his life. Shuichi wouldn't suspect it as love, when had his father stoop that _low?_ He was an unnescessary burden, which was why Shuichi left home at just sixteen.

He found a really cheap apartment, with a small bedroom and living room, a bathroom and a really bad quality kitchenette. Hiw did he even have such a place when all he does is watch Danganronpa with his friends?

It was a cloudy night this night. He hates clouds. The only thing he loved in this world was Kaito, and, maybe, the stars.

He's heard many conversations and rumors that circulated throughout the school. Kaito was in love with the stars glittering across the night sky like sprinkling white paint all over a dark blanket. Shuichi wondered what the stars had rather than he to why Kaito would choose to watch them than watch Shuichi. It was a ludicrous thing to be jealous of, but he can't help it.

As he makes a disaster he calls dinner, he continues to watch the Danganronpa chapter as he forces himself to eat the crap he calls food. And yet sometimes, though rarely, he would stare up at the stars, thinking maybe that was how Kaito looks at them.

Shuichi does not know why he would try to think like that god; he was unworthy, and he was not worth the time to be in his presence. He was just a choking toy, as was Kaito would, and always would be, his tormentor, in this life, and maybe the next.

"What do you mean by 'you hate the chapter'?", Shuichi quotes Maki's last phrase. They were at lunch, where all the world can hear their arguments.

Maki plays with her hair absentmindedly, not looking at Shuichi. It was one of her main habits, never looking to other people's eyes until they show the proper and expected emotions she had predicted.

Rantaro looks at them, sighing and shaking his head, knowing how this would end. It was not like he cared, though. Shuichi can see the amused look Rantaro had sent them. He was entertained.

Kokichi stops eating to see them bickering, and, all in one go, grabs his lunch to eat somewhere safe. Shuichi was fond of him, but he couldn't care less what he thought of them fighting.

Angie and Himiko were absent from their tables, possibly to help their teachers with their work. They were too busy picking up paperwork or checking grades to spend time with them. They hardly eat nor drink. They were so skinny, and Shuichi could see their ribs.

"The chapter was trash, pretty much", Maki says.

"You're just sulking because they killed your favorite character", Shuichi retorts. "I can pratically _hear_ you sulking."

Maki groans, stands up and walks away with tray in her hand. She dumps it on the trash bin. Rantaro murmurs how that was a waste of food, but didn't say anything else. Shuichi looks at Momota's table, and was surprised that Momota was looking at him.

But it was all a dream, because as Kaito catches him starung at him, he furrows his brows and walk towards him. All Shuichi could remember before a pair of lips connected to his was a shove, a push, and them getting out of the cafeteria. Then Kaito breaks apart, Shuichi was still breathing heavily, and Kaito's back was slumped over a wall.

"Um, Momota...?", Shuichi asks with hesitation. Kaito grunts in response. "What was that?"

Kaito glares at him, and Shuichi stands back, frightened. But instead, Kaito sighs and walks back to the cafeteria's doors.

Before he could go in, he replied, in a low voice,

"I wanted to taste the bitch."

And then he opens the doors, and closes them, leaving Shuichi there, in shock and surprise. He seemed to forget that Kaito had practically called and referred to him in a derogatory term, because he looked dazed, remembering Kaito's chapped lips against his.

Shuichi was utterly _helpless,_ and he didn't care if it was a bad type of helplessness.

* * *

As Kaito leaves the blue haired boy alone in the hallway, he can't help but _like_ the taste of Shuichi's lips on his. He sighs, clearing himself of those nasty thoughts, and sits on his table again. He catches a glimpse of the table Shuichi was sitting on.

Rantaro was staring at him, probably asking silently what he had done to Shuichi. Kaito glares back, warning him to go back to staring at Danganronpa all day because it was the only thing he's ever good at, other than coming up with great plans that befuddle everyone's minds.

He sighs to himself as he checks his phone to find a message from Kaede, who was just sitting right in front of him. She winks, her hands travelling up to Kaito's legs.

Kaito wants to believe he loves her. He does. But the way she pushes him too hard, her deviousness and malicious intent, her infidelity. Kaito caught her with another man once. It was a night filled with hurt, shouting and passion. They chose to forgive each other.

But Kaito never forgets.

"Wanna go get some shakes later?", Kaede asks sweetly. Kaito absently nods, looking at the vacant seat of Rantaro's table that Shuichi had sat on.

"Kaito, you're not even listening to me", Kaede says in a stern voice, and Kaito snaps his attention back to her. She smiles a bit.

"Where are we even going to buy shakes?", Kaito asks.

"In the local convenience store, I dunno", Kaede goes back to looking something at her phone, much to Kaito's relief.

Lunch ends in a noisy pace after the new chapter of Danganronpa's new season skyrocketed. Kaito resumes to dodge his afternoon classes, managing to escape the school guards with Korekiyo Shinguji. They manage to find a small store to get a smoke. They sit on a bench in the park, revelling on the way the sun shines at them with its rays. Kaito blows out smoke, and lets his cigarette fall to the ground.

"This is 'sneaking out of classes' is getting tiring", Korekiyo states, billowing put smoke.

"Then _don't_ come with me if you don't want to cut classes, you goddamn pussy", Kaito replies sharply, stepping on the fallen cigarette.

"'M not a pussy", Korekiyo grumbles. "I showed Miu I'm not like that."

Kaito sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I kissed Shuichi."

Korekiyo looks at him blankly, but he knows he wants some kind of story behind those eyes of his. Korekiyo doesn't need a mind reader, because Kaito already is.

"I hate it when some asshole I don't know is staring at me funny." He grabs another cigarette and takes a lighter, lighting it up.

"That's petty..." Korekiyo sighs, looking at the green grass. It wasn't really green, as the chilly air sweeps around them.

Tonight would be cold. And Kaito would be looking at the stars, dreaming for something he can never yearn.

He can always feel that burning whole inside his heart, like the material things he always had will never be enough. That it'd be time to get someone, something to redeem him. Yet Kaito had come to terms that he was not capable of redemption. He'll always be the asshole everyone hates. Idolizes. Envies. Fears. _Loves._

His parents hate him, think of him as some waste of time. Which was why he was put to the care of his grandparents, who fears him just enough to let him do what he wants. He's pretty sure that the whole student body idolizes him, which swells up his ego and pride. Kaito knows Gonta, Korekiyo, and Ryoma envy his talents (if he even has one) and his fame. Loves? Kaito's sure that Kaede uses him as a rebound, nothing less. Shuichi?

Kaito looks at the night sky, ignoring the cold air around him, just looking at the stars that sprinkle throughout the night sky. The cluster of stars seem to move at a pace, until Kaito was now looking at Shuichi's face.


End file.
